Rules of the internet for Newfags (Subject to Change)

[LoneSoldier55]

The internet should be for the people by the people. It should be the people that set the rules.

◘. Everybody gets a page!
-∞. This rule can/will not exist.
ƒƒƒƒƒ. ˙pɹɐʇǝɹ ɐ ǝɹɐ noʎ 'uʍop ǝpısdn sı ʇxǝʇ ɹnoʎ ɟI
ƒƒƒƒ. Uncyclopedia is never wrong, NO EXCEPTIONS, fuck it.
ƒƒƒ. None of these rules really matter, except for the ones that do.
ƒƒƒ.2. The ones that matter are 1, 2, 34, 63, 93, 406, and 899. But not 899.
ƒƒƒ.3. Actually, 899 is a good rule.
ƒƒƒ.4. No it isn't.
ƒƒƒ.5. Oh fuck
ƒƒ. forkheads and 4chan may be the last remaining places of freedom on the net. insert exceptions here
ƒ. AFH is still g0d of the internet
i². Welcome Back.
2i. The end is coming. We shall rule all.
i. You can't the square root of a negative integer.
-3. If you are srs, everyone is srs. No exceptions.
-2 1/2. Never cuss any Canadians.
-2. You won the game.
-1. /b/ is not your friend. No exceptions.
0. Negative Numbers are a Lie. No exceptions.
0.000000001. Percentage of clever comments in YouTube.
1/2. Everyone is masturbating with their other hand. No exceptions.
0.96. P30P13 WH0 U53 1337 5P34K 4R3 N07 1337.
1. Do not talk about /b/.
2. You do NOT talk about /b/.
2.2. Remember 2nd place.
2.3. Damn it! I missed...
2.4. AGAIN?! WHAT THE FUCK!
e. Roflcopter makes you look like a n00b.
3. We are Anonymous.
3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399573105.... Expect us.
4. Anonymous is legion.
5. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget.
6. Anonymous can be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster.
7. Anonymous is still able to deliver.
8. There are no real rules about posting.
9. Always register with your local service provider.
⑨. There is a Touhou version, no exceptions.
10. If you enjoy any rival sites — DON'T.
11. All your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored.
12. Anything you say can and will be used against you.
13. Anything you say can be turned into something else. - fixed
14. Do not argue with trolls — it means that they win.
15. The harder you try, the harder you will fail.
16. If you fail in epic proportions, it may just become a winning failure.
17. Every win fails eventually.
18. Everything that can be labeled, can be hated.
19. The more you hate it, the stronger it gets.
20. Nothing is to be taken seriously.
21. Original content is original only for a few seconds before getting old.
22. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
23. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
24. Every repost is always a repost of a repost.
25. Relation to the original topic decreases with every single post.
26. Any topic can be turned into something totally unrelated.
27. Always question a person's sexual preferences without any real reason.
28. Always question a person's gender - just in case it's really a man.
29. On the internet, all girls are men, and all kids are undercover FBI agents or Perverted Justice Decoys.
30. There are NO girls on the internet.
31. TITS or GTFO - the choice is yours.
32. You must have pictures to prove your statements.
33. Lurk moar — it's never enough.
34. There is porn of it, no exceptions.
34.2. There are ponies of it, no exceptions.
34.3. If it exists, there's an app for it.
35. If no porn is found of it, it will be made.
35.2. If no pony is found of it, it will be made.
35.3. If there is no app for it, it will be made.
36. There will always be more fucked up shit than what you just saw.
37. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so).
37.2. Xero Chance can divide by Zero.
37.3. Pinkie Pie can divide by zero. She can break the 4th wall as canon. What can't she do?
38. No real limits of any kind apply here — not even the sky.
39. CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
40. EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER.
41. Needs moar Desu. No exceptions.
41.2. Scroll down.
41.3. ALL THE WAY.
42. Nothing is Sacred.
43. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.
44. Trying to edit the rules of the Internet with Japanese characters is like trying to make “2 girls, 1 cup” acceptable in society. It only works at A-con.
45. When one sees a lion, one must get into the car.
46. There is furry porn of it. No exceptions.
47. The pool is always closed due to AIDS (and stingrays, which also have AIDS).
47.2. YOU DUN GOOF'D!
47.3. THE CONSEQUENCES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!
48. A cat is fine too.
49. One cat leads to another.
50. Another cat leads to Zippo Cat.
51. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.
52. It is delicious cake. You must eat it.
53. It is delicious trap. You must hit it.
54. /b/ sucks today.
54.2. And today.
55. If you have time to make up new rules, you have no life.
55.2. Except for me.
56. They will not bring back Snacks.
57. You will never have sex.
58. Desu isn't funny. Seriously guys. It's worse than Chuck Norris jokes.
58.2. Scroll down dammit.
58.3. ALL THE WAY YOU FUCKER.
59. No one does it like Gaston. No exceptions.
60. It needs more pumpkin. No exceptions.
60.1. What pumpkin?
61. It needs moar cowbell. No exceptions.
62. It has been cracked and pirated. No exceptions.
63. For every male character there is a female version. No Exceptions.
63.2. For every female character there is a male version. No Exceptions.
63.3. For every asexual character there is a version for each sex. No Exceptions.
63.4. Rules 63, 63.2 and 63.3 does not include real people. (Too much work. No Exceptions.)
63.5. Real people are ruled unworthy.
64. Don't copy that floppy.
65. Anonymous is not your personal army.
66. The cake is a lie.
66.2. The lie is a cake.
66.3. The cock is a lie.
66.4. The lie is a cock.
66.5. The cake is a liar.
66.6. THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST!
66.7. Iron Maiden is awesome. No exceptions.
67. Anonymous does not "buy", he downloads.
68. Milhouse will never be a meme. Ever. No matter what your post ends with. No exceptions. Ever. No.
68.2. However, "Milhouse is not a meme" is a meme.
68.3. It is undecided whether '"Milhouse is not a meme"is a meme' is a meme or not.
69. LOL SIXTY NINE AMIRITE?
70. Do not talk about the 100M GET failure.
71. The internet is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
72. Darth Vader is your father. No exceptions.
73. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar.
74. If you post it, they will cum.
75. Rule 75 is a lie. OH SHI-
76. Twinkies are the answers to life's problems.
77. The internet makes you stupid.
78. It will always need moar sauce.
79. Ceilingcat IS watching you masturbate.
80. Interwebz177 did it. No exceptions.
81. Anonymous is a virgin by default.
82. Nobody tells the truth on the Internet
83. Only clusterfucks start Edit Wars.
83.2. Only fusterclucks edit Star Wars.
84. All rules ARE true, including this one.
85. Retarded rules are forbidden.
86. The term "sage" does not refer to the spice.
87. If you get pepperoni ever again, I swear I'll blow this joint sky-high!
87.2 But you know I only like pepperoni!
88. Anonymous rules the internet. No exceptions.
89. Bruce Lee was a hero to us all.
90. It's never lupus.
91. There is gay porn of it, no exceptions.
92. Chuck Norris is the exception to rule 91. No exceptions.
93.2. This is not rule 93. This is rule 93.2., and rule 93 is not here.
93.3. Rule 899 is rule 93. (This is not)
93.4. Fagicorn deleted the real rule 93. Crap to him.
94. This is rule 94.
95. Anonymous did NOT, under any circumstances, tk him 2da bar?
96. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.
97. The government, The CIA, Everything is a lie.
98. Only Zippocat is truth.
99. All numbers are at least 100 but always OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND.
100. Faggotry will not be tolerated.
101. You are never THE BEST at anything, deal with it.
102. You are made of fail and AIDS.
103. That's no such thing as safe sex
104. The internet is for porn.
105. Rule 71 is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
106. Rule 109 is true.
107. "That's what she said" jokes are stupid. No Exceptions
108. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!
108.2. ABOUT HIM!!!!
108.3. OMG!!!!!!!!!!
108.4. I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
108.5. You can never get too many exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Omigod!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No Exceptions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
109. Rule 106 is false.
110. If your statement is preceded by "HAY GUYZ", then you're doing something wrong.
111. If you cannot understand it, it is machine code.
112. What you click isn't always what you get.
113. Gamestop does NOT have Battletoads (or N64 games). But ask anyway.
114. Secure tripcodes are for fags.
115. If someone herd u liek Mudkipz, deny it constantly for the lulz.
115.2. I herd you liek Mudkipz. No exceptions.
116. Combo breakers are inevitable. If the combo is completed successfully, it is gay.
117. Always go out of your way to make newbies feel uncomfortable.
118. Newfags must be tortured to death. No exceptions.
119. Only newfags like caturday, Bruce Lee, and Desu. Those who like any of those refer to rule 93.
120. Nobody likes you.
120.2. Except Pedobear (see also: rule 93)
121. Co$ is the sworn enemy of Anonymous. It must be stopped.
122. There is NO God here (Except Chuck Norris).
122.2. Celestia is greater than Chuck Norris.
122.3 Luna is greater than Celestia.
123. 456789
124. When Anonymous is surprised, bricks must be shat.
124.2. There is an error in rule 124.
125. If you have no bricks to shit, you are made of fail and AIDS.
126. shaMTV must give Rick his award. No exceptions.
127. No NewFaggots aloud.
127.2. ALLOWED, YOU FAGGOT, NOT ALOUD.
128. Everything you know is a lie, but all those lies are nothing. So by using the transitive property we can conclude that everything = nothing and if you add an integer (x) into the equation we can single anything out and turn it into a certain amount of nothing explained by this graph e = everything n = nothing
| _
| ___/ \
e | ____/ \
|/ \
|______________\________________

n
As you can see, at a certain point of everything, nothing cannot exist. So in conclusion, I have no idea what I'm talking about. See Rule 93.
129. BOTS will be dismantled.
130. Internet = Very Scary
131. Whatever it is, pie is involved in some form. No exceptions.
132. If it can't be killed, it doesn't exist. (Except Chuck Norris) No other exceptions.
133. If you met your girlfriend/boyfriend online then you are dating a one armed lady hooker named Steve.(Unless there is webcam involved, then his name is John.)
134. If it talks, you must shut it up.
135. Myspace is for thirteen year old girls and people who fit the description of Rule # 133.
136. _uck _ou_self __ solve it.
137. Tuck yourself in. Is the answer.
138. Rule 139 does/will not exist.
139. Rule 138 is true.
140. XKCD can explain everything. explain it or it goes.
141. Godmodding is retarded. Seriously just accept your death.
142. Just ignore him he will think you're afk.
143. If you ignore her, she will bitch.
144. People can't understand sarcasm.
145. If you take it seriously gtfo.
146. Stop giving the mic a blowjob.
147. Regardless, if you get pissed on teamspeak there is someone that has muted themselves just so they can laugh at you.
148. You don't get any cookies. No exceptions. So don't even ask.
149. Brandon is God's son, making him Jesus. Chuck Norris has no son.
150. You are not going to get a handicap so don't even ask. They will just target you.
151. You will not get a free Xbox 360/Playstation 3/iPhone so don't even get your hopes up.
151.1. There are always more Pokemon. Always.
152. They didn't call you retarded but they were thinking it.
153. It's funny to pick on people's grammar no matter how good it is. No exceptions.
154. The louder you scream at people the harder someone else will laugh.
155. They don't have hacks, you just suck really bad.
156. If you want to know who Anonymous is then GTFO!
157. Someone already did it better. No exceptions.
158. It was in an episode of South Park. No exceptions.
159. The more you deny something the more they are going to say that you are "something".
160. Google ftw. No exceptions.
160.2. Lmgtfy ftw. No exceptions.
161. The guy next to you in the library is always looking at what you are saying.
162. The girl next to you in the library couldn't give a shit.
163. There's a reason- you know what? Fuck it. If you can't figure it out, you seriously need to LURK MOAR.
164. Refer to step 2 on Rule #165.
165. Refer to step 3 on Rule #93.
166. People who get depressed on the internet need a better use of time.
167. Fleshlights are the answers to life's problems. No exceptions.
168. If you pretend that you are drunk people will just think you're retarded because no one can act drunk on the internet.
169? Nah I'll have 2 69s.
170. None of us is as cruel as all of us.
171. At any given moment, more birds could join, leave, or peel off in another direction entirely.
172. Use inside jokes moar. It upsets users.
173. STFU! Before i go chris brown on you!
174. Only 4chan'rs unsuspecting victims hate Rick Astley.
175. The talk page is for spam. Don't go there.
176. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks children with the last name of Edgerton.
177. Tropicana tastes like the rainbow. No exceptions
178. Shadow sticks are fun to play with in the dark. Unless there are more than 3.
179. Refer to all unwritten rules. No exceptions.
180. For every life the internet improves it destroys 10 others.
181. Anything that's good is a virus.
182. We better start helping the earth, otherwise Al Gore will take back the internets!!! NO MORE BROADBAND! NO DIALUP!
183. If i have 3 cakes and you have one cake, only here you have no cake and I have 3 ps3's.
184. The only potty training videos allowed are ones that feature tigers and are japanese in nature (english subtitles are acceptable)
185. The Internet and Golf are quite similar they both were invented for men to get away from woman, except the internet has porn.
186. Newfags must be shot in the balls on site. No exceptions
187. No matter how hard you try, you will never be as cool as ninjas playing guitars.
188. If none of these rules are followed/obliged to then Bruce Lee will donkey punch you to Uranus.
189. Bukkake is not cool. Never was. Never will be. EVER!!
190. The only good hentai is yuri, that's how the internet works.
191. You will always forget to add an attachment to your e-mails.
192. If you break rule 1 and 2. You will be rickroll'd in hell.
193. If you break rule 188. You will be spanked by Barack Obama.
194. If you break rule 2, Barack Obama will tickle your pubes.
194.2. If you break rule 899 or 899.2, Barack Obama will reveal his colossal dick and choke you to death with it.
195. People called Fred are just Fail. No Exceptions.
196. People named Tyler are just win. No Exceptions.
197. People named Matty are just sexy. No and I mean no Exceptions.
198. If it's not on Google, It does not exist. No Exceptions.
199. If it's not on Google, then you're searching with the wrong criteria, no exceptions
199.1. If SafeSearch is on, you are a fucking faggot, no exceptions.
200. Pictures or it didn't happen.
201. Maths in failing:
Win + Fail = Epicfail Fail + Fail = Win Win + Win = Fail Epicfail + Epicfail = Chuck Norris
202. Anontalk is a bunch of fags. No exceptions.
203. If you run out of cookies, give apples, If you run out of apples, Give Spam. No exceptions.
204. NEVER shoot anybody in the balls. No exceptions.
205. All Americans are fat. No exceptions.
206. Any breaking of pi will result in pi being broken. No one knows the consequences. You have been warned.
207. Rules 1 and 2 are false. From now on, all rules must be about /b/. Unless they aren't.
208. Rules 1, 2 and 206 are true.
209. See rule 208.
210. See rule 209.
211. srt8 must not marry MITB. No exceptions.
212. 4chan is funny. No exceptions.
213. Your mother is behind you. No exceptions, unless she isn't.
214. In case of an emergency, your emergency exit can be found in the top right corner of your screen. No, and i promise you, NO exceptions.
214.2. Except on a Mac. It's on the left.
214.3. Press Alt+F4 for an epic thing to happen.
215. Rule 213 is false. Do not click that button.
216. 3, is the magic number.... 3, is the magic number.... NO EXCEPTIONS!
216.2. 42
217. Creator of 4chan is mentally Disturbed. No exceptions.
218. Porn must only be looked at when porn is needed.
219. Google is not a calculator.
220. Longcat is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. No exceptions.
221. RETARDED NEWFAGS, should always be shot without warning NO EXCEPTIONS!
222. The game.
222.2. The game ended, wait a while before we start the next wave.
222.3. The second wave is started.
223. Only faggots add rules that don't go along with rule 93 no exceptions.
224. All rules above "PROFIT!" don't count. No Exceptions.
225. The Simpsons already did it. South Park already did it better. NO EXCEPTIONS
226. If a statement may be taken sexually in any way, then she already said it. No exceptions.
227. Asking Alexandria is the worst band in the world. No exceptions
228. None of these rules apply to this wiki. No exceptions.
228.2. Except the ones about newfags editing the rules
229. You never see the porn first, even if you made or drew it. No exceptions.
230. Hentai is you friend. No exceptions.
231. Except if it is on /d/. No exceptions.
232. You cannot control the person in charge. No exceptions.
233. The person in charge only wants to make your life miserable. No exceptions.
234. Rule 186 is the only exception to rule 204
235. PROFIT!
236. There is no more than 1 rule for 1 number. 234 is the only exception, all others can refer to rule 93.
236.1. No.
237. There will be placeholders. No exceptions.
238. Every night when you are sleeping, Interwebz177 gives you pills that give you a boner then he sucks you dry.
239. That naked picture you took whilst drunk has never been removed from the internet, and will remain on a 50yr old man's hard drive for as long as he lives.
240. Rule 301 is false, it is occasionally Alex.
241. Everything fun on the internet is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
242. See Rule 899.
243. TNA sucks, WWE rocks.
244. WWE sucks, TNA rocks.
245. Your all both fags ROH is better than anything.
246. Pro Wrestling is gay. No exceptions.
246.2. Also, it is SERIOUS BUSINESS. No exceptions.
247. King Kong's penis was 13" long. Which isn't that long for a 50' gorilla.
247.2. The above is not a rule.
248. There has been a flame war of it. No exceptions.
249. Euskal hizkuntza dela begiratuko du lelo bat bezala.
249.2. Google Translate is shit.
250. Additional Pylons are required. Always.
251. No one uses anything but Google. No exceptions.
252. Rule 52 is a lie. Thank you.
253. Yes, it is some chickens.
254. Steve Irwin's death is really, really funny.
255. Anonymous is an Internet Hate Machine. Wikipedia said so.
255.2. Wikipedia is never wrong. Your teachers were.
256. For every curse word, there is a town with that name. No exceptions.
257. CP is awwwright, but DSFARGEG will get you b&.
258. ASDFMOVIE is god. No exception.
259. Hal Turner definitely needs to gb2/hell/.
260. No matter how cute it is, it probably skullfucked your mother last night.
261. Bobba bobba is bobba.
262. Yes, it is still some chickens.
263. Disregard Bigmike, he sucks cocks.
264. Spengbab Sqarpaint is luv Padtwick Zhstar iz fwend.
265. Anonymous still owes Hal Turner one trillion U.S. dollars.
266. Pokémon yuri is awesome, especially Elesa/Skyla.
267. Why are so many rules not written yet?
268. BECAUSE RACE CAR.
269. Yeah, finally...2 69's!
269.1. To 69 or not to 69? Did she take a shower? That is the question.
270. If you do not believe it, then it must be habeebed for great justice.
271. 299 is a lie. This is sparta. No exceptions.
272. This is the end of the world, no exceptions.
273. 301 is a lie. The end is the beginning. No exceptions.
274. Not even Spider-Man knows how to shoot web.
275. By extension to rule 301, it is never a job offer.
276. One does not simply shoop da whoop into Mordor.
277. Newfags will rape you so hard that Micheal Jackson will feel it in hell. No exceptions.
278. If a song gets famous, there will be a slowed-down acoustic cover by a female singer-songwriter.
279. Mitchell Henderson was an hero to us all.
280. This is a showdown, a throwdown, hell no I can't slow down, it's gonna go.
281. I am copying directly from the UrbanDictionary definition of the Rules of the Internet.
282. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.
283. That's not mud.
284. What has been seen cannot be unseen. Even the post clearance that's coming up.
285. 5pam
286. 5pam
287. 5pam
288. 5pam
289. Shit sucks and will never be stickied.
290. UrbanDictionary's entry is out of date.
291. 5pam 5ome MOAR
292. There are no real rules about moderation — enjoy your ban.
293. There should be a hand in it somehow.
294. Everything has been searched on the internet.
295. Box dividers are gay.
296. Twitter is pointless.
297. GentleMentleMen will never retain its original audio.
298. Any BEATMANIA song will be made into a meme.
299. This is madness. No exceptions.
300. No, This Is SPARTA!
301. No, this is Patrick.
302. Food has been made from any part from any animal. No exceptions.
303. If they exist, they have been shipped. No Exceptions.
304. Buy the extended warranty. No exceptions.
305. Fuck backups.
306. Even one positive comment on Japanese things makes you a weeaboo.
307. Chuck Norris is an exception to rule 63, no exceptions.
308. Always bring your towel, no exceptions.
309. Anal Cunt are the best band in the world. No Exceptions.
310. !?!?!?
311. A crossover, even an improbable one, will eventually happen in fanart, fanfic, or official release material. No exceptions.
312. Dubstep does not exist except Skrillex. No exceptions.
313. Mastication is not what you think.
314. The day that pi finally ends is the day that the world will end. No exceptions.
315. Blockatiel is out to get you. No Exceptions.
316. Your parents know where you keep your porn, no exceptions. Keeping it on a flash drive doesn't help.
317. Anonymous is not sorry.
318. Standing safely behind Rule 319.
319. This rule is transparent.
319.2. Rule 318 just shat itself.
320. There is no such thing as a lazah. OHSHI-
321. Rule 183 is a lie; The cake is also true.
322. Rule 321 is a lie; The cake is a pie.
323. Rule 322 is true, although Chuck Norris already ate the cake.
324. The placement of rule 333 was shit. No exceptions.
325. If you download but don't seed, Bruce Lee will rip your scrotum off.
326. There IS a torrent for it... you just aren't looking hard enough... Unless there isn't.
327: Kill it with fire!
328. There is an exception to all exceptions. No exceptions
329. I killed your mother.
330. Just kidding i did fuck her though.
330.2. LOL did i mention she likes oral?
331. G.I.R.L = Guy In Real Life... No Exceptions.
332. If it exists, someone is offended by it, no exceptions.
334. Your SPOON WILL ALWAYS BE TOO BIG.
335. Pokemon is serious bloody business, NO EXCEPTIONS, no exceptions.
335.2. Chuck Norris doesn't play Pokemon, he lives it.
336. There is not enough facepalms for this, introduced; The Facedesk. NO Exceptions.
337. Girls Can't Drive....Even on Video Games No Exceptions.
338. Big Brother is Always Watching You O_O.
339. Except when he's not.
340. Admins always suck more then Mods. No Exceptions.
341. Lobbywhores always get banned for Stupidity.
342. Two's company, three's a crowd. Also, nothing is more awesome than Crawdaunt.
343. Anonymous will update the rules every sunday night, no exceptions.
344. Anonymous keeps a copy of the unedited rules on his hard drive, along with all of your porn.
345. Perl will NEVER be the best language, no exceptions
346. Attempting to post anything on the internet which defines the rules of the internet will result in an UserIsAnNoobException.
347. Some rules just dont make sense... follow them anyways. No Exceptions
348. You and me could write a rad bromance.
349. One just does not "make a meme". No exceptions
350. Walk don't run.
351. Limit Yourself.
352. Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
353. Bad artists copy. Good artists steal.
354. Many people think that the Internet is a complex series of tubes, some people think its made of cats and some think it's magic. BUT really the Internet was excreted from chuck Norris's ass, therefore it is the image of perfection. NO EXEPTIONS.
355. For every object, existing or imagined, there is a variant involving bacon.
356. No one knows what love is. No exceptions.
357. .snoitpecxe oN .ysae si klat drawkcaB
358. There is an exception, no exceptions.
359. Cock goes in here.
360. Anything that seems good from all angles is a conspiracy
361. Politicians are a lie
362. No one is married. No exceptions.
363. All furries are 35-year-old virgins. No exceptions.
364. The Simpsons stopped being funny in 1998. No exceptions.
365. No one cares whether it is a leap year or not, no exceptions.
366. Asians are the rulers of the universe, no exceptions.
367. Everyone's copyright will be broken. No exceptions.
368. The rules are ever-changing, no exceptions.
369. Whoa, this gets better and better.
370. A piece of porn has been made of every situation by following it with the words "They fuck". No exceptions.
371. Football is stupid. No exceptions.
372. The other kind of football is stupid. No exceptions.
373. Baseball is for faggots. No exceptions.
374. Australian Rules football is stupid. No exceptions.
375. Coldplay are gay. No exceptions.
376. There is a forum of it, no exceptions.
377. Everything is fake and gay. No exceptions.
378. Someone thinks it is awesome. No exceptions.
379. If a girl on the Internet actually shows their tits after being asked about rule 31, that's someone you want to establish a positive relationship with.
380. Everyone is a pedophile. No exceptions.
381. No one actually owned Action 52. No exceptions.
382. Lolicons are morally okay. No exceptions.
383. Honeybadger does not, and will not give a shit. No exceptions.
384. There is no such thing as notability.
385. TVTropes ruined my life, and it will ruin yours too. No exceptions.
386. Hoenn was the best region, and there is no argument about it.
387. Weed is morally okay. No exceptions.
388. Parental Controls are made by Nazis. No exceptions.
389. Terrorists want to destroy it. No exceptions.
390. Christians want it banned. No exceptions.
391. Chuck Norris has roundhouse kicked it. No exceptions.
392 inches. The length of my dick.
393. The guy above me is a faggot. No exceptions.
394. Reputation systems are too easily abused to mean anything.
395. Rule 394 is gotten to.
396. Rule 899 has been applied to rule 395.
397. Rules can argue with each other, no exceptions.
398. The above rule is a cripple. No exceptions.
399. Ear sex is even gayer than gay anal sex. No exceptions.
400. This is not rule 400.
401. However, this is rule 401.
402. Who's on first base. No exceptions.
403. Sub Rules are forbidden.
403.2. And we mean it this time.
403.2.2. Really.
403.2.2.2. Really really.
404. This rule was not found.
405. Rule 404 WAS found, but then was lost.
406. The number of Facebook friends is inversely proportional to the number of real friends. No exceptions.
406.2. Also, add me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
407. If you say Candlejack, you w
408. If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe, Anonymous would have been married a long time ago.
409. No one has ever traded a Cofagrigus, no exceptions.
410. Uruguay = U R GAY. No exceptions.
418. I'm a teapot.
419. Falcon PUUUNCH!
420. Georgia is in Russia. Also, even though this is rule number 420, no marijuana is implied.
421. There are NO intelligent comments on music videos. No exceptions.
422. Any music or bands you like will happen to have a completely retarded fanbase. No exceptions.
423. All obvious statements shall require a smart ass remark. No exceptions.
424. Step 3 must always be followed by step 4. ?????? and step 5. PROFIT
425. All your base are belong to us. No exceptions.
426. This is never real life. No exceptions.
427. The rules cannot be broken without the Biggoron sword. No exceptions.
428. Never, ever assume anything over the Internet. Even if you're right, you will still be deemed a raging homosexual who likes it in the ear.
469. Awesome.
501. There is a fat version, no exceptions.
513. There isn't much time, but there is always all of it.
523. The existence of God has been proven by a formula. Look it up.
529. Newfags can't triforce.
530. If a newfag can triforce, the internet eats itself.
555. No one expects anything. No exceptions.
569. AKA an orgy.
571. There is porn of every celebrity, no exceptions.
598. Anyone can censor a cartoon. No exceptions.
599. Anyone can uncensor a censored cartoon. No exceptions.
600. No one speaks Basque. No exceptions.
600.2. Or Telugu. No exceptions.
601. There is life out there.
609. Refer to rules 243-6.
647. Keldeo is a pony.
665. The chakra is not a toy.
666. Idle hands are Anonymous' playthings. No exceptions.
667. Only Chuck Norris can break a Nokia. No exceptions.
668. I am a huge faggot. Please rape my face.
669. Super orgy.
701. The rent is always too damn high.
706. No fat chicks.
753. Backward talk is easy. No exceptions.
768. /d/ is serious business. See Rule 36.
769. I just came.
769.2. But if you're wearing white it's okay.
770. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar.
777. There is no such thing as luck.
778. /u/ and /y/ are like /v/, but with more videogames, and less porn.
867. Jenny is not home, she will never be home. No Exceptions.
868. Making a Chuck Norris joke instantly turns you into a newfag. No exceptions.
869. More and more.
888. Subtitles are now available. No Exceptions.
898. This is the rule before Rule 899.
899. No one intentionally sees their first dickgirl. No exceptions.
899.2. You are a newfag if you have never seen a dickgirl. No exceptions.
899.3. If you see enough dickgirls, you become attracted to them and start fapping to them. No exceptions.
899.4. If you see too many dickgirls, you become a dickgirl. No exceptions.
900. Now you have experienced Rule 899, go back and read it again.
969. A guy's dream.
999. ?suoi?d??x? ou ??i?? no? 'si?? pu??s??pun ?,uop ??i?s no? ??? p??? ?no? di?? o? ??i? ??? ?oo? no? ?i
1000. Joe Is Awesome, No Exceptions.
1001. Amount of uses for duct tape for now. moar are being discovered!
1002. Oop, another one.
1069. SOS HELP ME I AM DROWNING IN MY OWN CUM
1111. The number for this rule is a sausage fest.
1111.1. The number for this rule is also a sausage fest.
1111.2. You don't get .1's you stupid shit. No exceptions.
1337. The last thing this should be is a rule. You failed by looking at this, newfag.
1666. London is never burning. No exceptions.
1966. ENGLAND clapclapclap ENGLAND clapclapclap
1967. Shut the fuck up. No Exceptions.
2010. There is a ponified version of it. No exceptions.
2012. Science doesn’t exist, God doesn’t exist, only Chuck Norris exists!
2013. Rule 2012 is a lie. So are the Mayans.
2014. Science just proved that the Mayans couldn't find a bigger rock.
2101. War was beginning.
2111. ALL BASES OF C.A.T.S. WERE DESTROYED. IT SEEMS TO BE PEACEFUL. BUT IT IS INCORRECT. C.A.T.S. IS STILL ALIVE.
2185. Still better than Mass Effect 3 ending. No exceptions
2552. Remember Reach, no exceptions.
2979. It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.
3333. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Available at Walgreens.
3334. Sausages are only eaten by gay men. No Exceptions.
3434. The only exception to rule 34 is the citation of rule 34.
4321. This rule was for homoes.
5150. Sammy Hagar sucked. No exceptions.
5225. Election years were meant for Congress so they may let their trolls out to feed.
5705. There is no reply. No exceptions.
7652. Tinker will never be Asian. Owning katanas is fail.
9000. You must be mathematically greater than 9000 to be over 9000.
9001. It's over 9000. No exceptions
9002. It's still over 9000, and always will be!
9004. If you're wondering where 9003 went, refer to rule 405, but think of "rule 9003" instead of "rule 404".
9005. If you have used the Internet you have procrastinated. No Exceptions.
12345. Hbrowse is awesome. No Exceptions.
59713. Do not use the Internet if over 50.
176982. If it is a word, it has a sexual meaning. No exceptions.
424242. Reading online forums may cause irreparable damage to your faith in humanity.
494949. Needs moar Nyo. No exceptions.
499499. If you try to hide a porn window, the pop-ups which remain will be even worse.
500001. Internet Explorer is for newfags and users of it should be dragon punched by Bruce Lee.
878787. Fap moar - it's never enough.
899899. Anything can be a meme.
899900. Including rule 899.
3756548. Your life depends on this.
3756550. You're floccinaucinihilipilification.
3799999. Rule 3756550 was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
8072007. Rules 1 and 2 apply only to raids.
8675309. Go back to the top of the page, and read all the rules again.
69696969. See rule 469.
102938475. The Internet has a very cruel sense of humor.
362001984. THE EMOTICONES SHALL RULE THE UNIVERSE.
362001985. THOSE WHO DO NOT FOLLOW THE EMOTICONES MUST BE ELIMINATED.
362001986. THE END SHALL BE BROUGHT BY THE GRAND CONE.
1234567890. There are ten numbers. No exceptions.
2147483647. This is the end of the internet. No Exceptions.
2147483648. You've lost the game. No Exceptions.
55555555555. Virgins are people who have never had sex. AKA The Internet. No exceptions.
55555555556. THOUGH NO ONE DIES A VIRGIN. LIFE FUCKS UP ALL. No exceptions.
181354931118. /r/spacedicks should only be viewed by 4chan users.
926535897932. This rule applies to rule 93.
934023783021. OMGWTFBBQ?!?!?!?!?!? NO EXCEPTIONS.
1000000000000. Jesus can win the game. No Exceptions.
1000000000000.1. Chuck Norris is the only exception. No exceptions.
3846264338327. Rule 2147483647 is false.
6666666666666. All rules that use shitty grammar and/or who's identification values equate to undefined, infinity, or retardation do not count. No exceptions.
6666666666667. Except for the exceptions, no exceptions.
6666666666668. Except for the exceptions to that. No exceptions.
11123334555677789990. This rule has the numbers 233 and 899 in it.
6501293849635201682301371605287306824087549580566948509750739410237012973058476656567837562181. No one knows the difference between their, there, and they're. No exceptions.
10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000. Google is god. No exceptions.
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999. Logan is a faggot, no exceptions.
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999.2. Jared is a badass, no exceptions.
66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666. Neither the universe nor the internet have the capacity to hold the all the rules of the internet.
66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666667. The above rule is the answer to rule 267.
#. There is a dubstep remix of it. No exceptions. Refer to rule 312.
x 0 y0 z 0: If it exists, there's a Minecraft mod for it.
X. This isn't a rule, refer to rule 93.
333. Told you.
k. How did you get down here?
...02425950695064738395657479136519351798334535362521430035401260267716226721604198106522631693551887803881448314065252616878509555264605107117200099709291249544378887496062882911725063001303622934916080254594614945788714278323508292421020918258967535604308699380168924988926809951016905591995119502788717830837018340236474548882222161573228010132974509273445945043433009010969280253527518332898844615089404248265018193851562535796399618993967905496638003222348723967018485186439059104575627262464195387. No fucking idea.
...02425950695064738395657479136519351798334535362521430035401260267716226721604198106522631693551887803881448314065252616878509555264605107117200099709291249544378887496062882911725063001303622934916080254594614945788714278323508292421020918258967535604308699380168924988926809951016905591995119502788717830837018340236474548882222161573228010132974509273445945043433009010969280253527518332898844615089404248265018193851562535796399618993967905496638003222348723967018485186439059104575627262464195388. Since you're down here... DESU
...02425950695064738395657479136519351798334535362521430035401260267716226721604198106522631693551887803881448314065252616878509555264605107117200099709291249544378887496062882911725063001303622934916080254594614945788714278323508292421020918258967535604308699380168924988926809951016905591995119502788717830837018340236474548882222161573228010132974509273445945043433009010969280253527518332898844615089404248265018193851562535796399618993967905496638003222348723967018485186439059104575627262464195389. No one knows how to type in superscript.
GOOGOLPLEX. See, if I'd just said, "1x10" then "10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000" in superscript, it would have made a lot more sense.
∞. There is no limit to the amount of messed up shit that lurks on the internet.
∞ + 1. This shall go on forever.
∞ + 2. and ever
tan 90°. and ever
2/0. Go to rule 93.
P0N135. Ponies.
♦. Lets start a new!
♥. Anyone who uses the ♥ is either female or gay, no exceptions.
♣. They are also annoying, no exceptions.
♠. Anyone who uses the ♠ sign is a BOSS.
SlenderMan is always watching. No exceptions.







☺. Dig on.
☻. Nuke Africa. NO EXCEPTIONS
☻.1. The only exceptions are black men. No exceptions.

Attempting to get more users will result in loads of fun. No Exceptions.

[RevStoningpot]

that's just some retarded forum

[LoneSoldier55]

that's just some retarded forum

And you're just mad cause there's rules of the internet.

[RevStoningpot]

Here is a proper list that complies with rule 85 and 403. As far as 85 goes i didn't just go and remove things i thought sounded retaded, there's still a lot of that. I mostly removed the things that don't actually make sense as a rule, be it of behavior or nature, and also those that were rules but did not actually have any thing to do with the the internet. I stopped at 400 something because that was when people stopped knowing how to count in sequence, ergo it was all retarded after that, also the retarded numberings before rule 1. If you feel I've removed something valid or left on some thing invalid let me know. And i wasn't sure if i should keep all the anonymous stuff they are an internet presence but not actually part of the internet. i removed some due to total retardation. So here it is the actual rules of the internet when it has been edited to comply with it's self.

3. We are Anonymous.
4. Anonymous is legion.
5. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget.
6. Anonymous can be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster.
7. Anonymous is still able to deliver.
8. There are no real rules about posting.
9. Always register with your local service provider.
10. If you enjoy any rival sites — DON'T.
11. All your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored.
12. Anything you say can and will be used against you.
14. Do not argue with trolls — it means that they win.
15. The harder you try, the harder you will fail.
16. If you fail in epic proportions, it may just become a winning failure.
17. Every win fails eventually.
18. Everything that can be labeled, can be hated.
19. The more you hate it, the stronger it gets.
20. Nothing is to be taken seriously.
21. Original content is original only for a few seconds before getting old.
22. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
25. Relation to the original topic decreases with every single post.
26. Any topic can be turned into something totally unrelated.
27. Always question a person's sexual preferences without any real reason.
28. Always question a person's gender - just in case it's really a man.
29. On the internet, all girls are men, and all kids are undercover FBI agents or Perverted Justice Decoys.
30. There are NO girls on the internet.
31. TITS or GTFO - the choice is yours.
32. You must have pictures to prove your statements.
34. There is porn of it, no exceptions.
36. There will always be more fucked up shit than what you just saw.
37. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so).
38. No real limits of any kind apply here — not even the sky.
39. CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
40. EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER.
42. Nothing is Sacred.
43. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.
46. There is furry porn of it. No exceptions.
49. One cat leads to another.
51. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.
55. If you have time to make up new rules, you have no life.
56. They will not bring back Snacks.
57. You will never have sex.
60. It needs more pumpkin. No exceptions.
61. It needs moar cowbell. No exceptions.
62. It has been cracked and pirated. No exceptions.
63. For every male character there is a female version. No Exceptions.
64. Don't copy that floppy.
65. Anonymous is not your personal army.
66. The cake is a lie.
68. Milhouse will never be a meme. Ever. No matter what your post ends with. No exceptions. Ever. No.
70. Do not talk about the 100M GET failure.
71. The internet is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
74. If you post it, they will cum.
77. The internet makes you stupid.
79. Ceilingcat IS watching you masturbate.
81. Anonymous is a virgin by default.
82. Nobody tells the truth on the Internet
83. Only clusterfucks start Edit Wars.
85. Retarded rules are forbidden.
88. Anonymous rules the internet. No exceptions.
91. There is gay porn of it, no exceptions.
96. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.
97. The government, The CIA, Everything is a lie.
100. Faggotry will not be tolerated.
101. You are never THE BEST at anything, deal with it.
104. The internet is for porn.
107. "That's what she said" jokes are stupid. No Exceptions
110. If your statement is preceded by "HAY GUYZ", then you're doing something wrong.
111. If you cannot understand it, it is machine code.
112. What you click isn't always what you get.
113. Gamestop does NOT have Battletoads (or N64 games). But ask anyway.
116. Combo breakers are inevitable. If the combo is completed successfully, it is gay.
117. Always go out of your way to make newbies feel uncomfortable.
118. Newfags must be tortured to death. No exceptions.
120. Nobody likes you.
129. BOTS will be dismantled.
130. Internet = Very Scary
131. Whatever it is, pie is involved in some form. No exceptions.
134. If it talks, you must shut it up.
137. Tuck yourself in. Is the answer.
141. Godmodding is retarded. Seriously just accept your death.
142. Just ignore him he will think you're afk.
143. If you ignore her, she will bitch.
144. People can't understand sarcasm.
145. If you take it seriously gtfo.
146. Stop giving the mic a blowjob.
147. Regardless, if you get pissed on teamspeak there is someone that has muted themselves just so they can laugh at you.
150. You are not going to get a handicap so don't even ask. They will just target you.
151. You will not get a free Xbox 360/Playstation 3/iPhone so don't even get your hopes up.
152. They didn't call you retarded but they were thinking it.
153. It's funny to pick on people's grammar no matter how good it is. No exceptions.
154. The louder you scream at people the harder someone else will laugh.
155. They don't have hacks, you just suck really bad.
156. If you want to know who Anonymous is then GTFO!
158. It was in an episode of South Park. No exceptions.
159. The more you deny something the more they are going to say that you are "something".
161. The guy next to you in the library is always looking at what you are saying.
162. The girl next to you in the library couldn't give a shit.
166. People who get depressed on the internet need a better use of time.
168. If you pretend that you are drunk people will just think you're retarded because no one can act drunk on the internet.
170. None of us is as cruel as all of us.
174. Only 4chan'rs unsuspecting victims hate Rick Astley.
175. The talk page is for spam. Don't go there.
180. For every life the internet improves it destroys 10 others.
181. Anything that's good is a virus.
182. We better start helping the earth, otherwise Al Gore will take back the internets!!! NO MORE BROADBAND! NO DIALUP!
184. The only potty training videos allowed are ones that feature tigers and are japanese in nature (english subtitles are acceptable)
186. Newfags must be shot in the balls on site. No exceptions
189. Bukkake is not cool. Never was. Never will be. EVER!!
190. The only good hentai is yuri, that's how the internet works.
191. You will always forget to add an attachment to your e-mails.
195. People called Fred are just Fail. No Exceptions.
196. People named Tyler are just win. No Exceptions.
197. People named Matty are just sexy. No and I mean no Exceptions.
198. If it's not on Google, It does not exist. No Exceptions.
199. If it's not on Google, then you're searching with the wrong criteria, no exceptions
203. If you run out of cookies, give apples, If you run out of apples, Give Spam. No exceptions
205. All Americans are fat. No exceptions.
206. Any breaking of pi will result in pi being broken. No one knows the consequences. You have been warned.
212. 4chan is funny. No exceptions.
214. In case of an emergency, your emergency exit can be found in the top right corner of your screen. No, and i promise you, NO exceptions.
217. Creator of 4chan is mentally Disturbed. No exceptions.
218. Porn must only be looked at when porn is needed.
219. Google is not a calculator.
221. RETARDED NEWFAGS, should always be shot without warning NO EXCEPTIONS!
226. If a statement may be taken sexually in any way, then she already said it. No exceptions.
230. Hentai is you friend. No exceptions.
232. You cannot control the person in charge. No exceptions.
233. The person in charge only wants to make your life miserable. No exceptions.
237. There will be placeholders. No exceptions.
239. That naked picture you took whilst drunk has never been removed from the internet, and will remain on a 50yr old man's hard drive for as long as he lives.
241. Everything fun on the internet is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
246. Pro Wrestling is gay. No exceptions.
248. There has been a flame war of it. No exceptions.
250. Additional Pylons are required. Always.
251. No one uses anything but Google. No exceptions.
255. Anonymous is an Internet Hate Machine. Wikipedia said so.
256. For every curse word, there is a town with that name. No exceptions.
260. No matter how cute it is, it probably skullfucked your mother last night.
265. Anonymous still owes Hal Turner one trillion U.S. dollars.
272. This is the end of the world, no exceptions.
274. Not even Spider-Man knows how to shoot web.
277. Newfags will rape you so hard that Micheal Jackson will feel it in hell. No exceptions.
282. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.
284. What has been seen cannot be unseen. Even the post clearance that's coming up.
289. Shit sucks and will never be stickied.
292. There are no real rules about moderation — enjoy your ban.
294. Everything has been searched on the internet.
296. Twitter is pointless.
298. Any BEATMANIA song will be made into a meme.
303. If they exist, they have been shipped. No Exceptions.
304. Buy the extended warranty. No exceptions.
305. Fuck backups.
308. Always bring your towel, no exceptions.
311. A crossover, even an improbable one, will eventually happen in fanart, fanfic, or official release material. No exceptions.
313. Mastication is not what you think.
316. Your parents know where you keep your porn, no exceptions. Keeping it on a flash drive doesn't help.
317. Anonymous is not sorry.
320. There is no such thing as a lazah. OHSHI-
326. There IS a torrent for it... you just aren't looking hard enough... Unless there isn't.
331. G.I.R.L = Guy In Real Life... No Exceptions.
332. If it exists, someone is offended by it, no exceptions.
337. Girls Can't Drive....Even on Video Games No Exceptions.
338. Big Brother is Always Watching You O_O.
340. Admins always suck more then Mods. No Exceptions.
341. Lobbywhores always get banned for Stupidity.
343. Anonymous will update the rules every sunday night, no exceptions.
344. Anonymous keeps a copy of the unedited rules on his hard drive, along with all of your porn.
345. Perl will NEVER be the best language, no exceptions
346. Attempting to post anything on the internet which defines the rules of the internet will result in an UserIsAnNoobException.
349. One just does not "make a meme". No exceptions
351. Limit Yourself.
352. Computers are useless. They can only give you answers
355. For every object, existing or imagined, there is a variant involving bacon.
356. No one knows what love is. No exceptions.
359. Cock goes in here.
360. Anything that seems good from all angles is a conspiracy
362. No one is married. No exceptions.
363. All furries are 35-year-old virgins. No exceptions.
365. No one cares whether it is a leap year or not, no exceptions.
366. Asians are the rulers of the universe, no exceptions.
367. Everyone's copyright will be broken. No exceptions.
370. A piece of porn has been made of every situation by following it with the words "They fuck". No exceptions.
376. There is a forum of it, no exceptions.
377. Everything is fake and gay. No exceptions.
378. Someone thinks it is awesome. No exceptions.
380. Everyone is a pedophile. No exceptions.
382. Lolicons are morally okay. No exceptions.
384. There is no such thing as notability.
388. Parental Controls are made by Nazis. No exceptions.
389. Terrorists want to destroy it. No exceptions.
390. Christians want it banned. No exceptions.
394. Reputation systems are too easily abused to mean anything.
399. Ear sex is even gayer than gay anal sex. No exceptions.
403. Sub Rules are forbidden.
421. There are NO intelligent comments on music videos. No exceptions.
422. Any music or bands you like will happen to have a completely retarded fanbase. No exceptions.
423. All obvious statements shall require a smart ass remark. No exceptions.
426. This is never real life. No exceptions.
428. Never, ever assume anything over the Internet. Even if you're right, you will still be deemed a raging homosexual who likes it in the ear.

[LoneSoldier55]

14. Do not argue with trolls — it means that they win.

Please l2 internet.