Capnruch

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Capnruch
Player
Capnruch.png
Name: {{{name}}}
In-game name: Capnruch
Alts: Wolfbitten, SpenPen
Status: Active
Date: {{{date}}}
First joined: January 2012
Last seen: {{{lastseen}}}
Formed: {{{formed}}}
Abandoned: {{{abandoned}}}
Disbanded: {{{disbanded}}}
Location: Lost In Space
Coords: {{{coords}}}
Members: {{{members}}}
Clans: {{{clans}}}
Bases: {{{bases}}}
Schematic: {{{schematic}}}


In The Beginning

Before SimPvP, Capn's Minecraft experience consisted primarily of playing in single player, getting bored, activating creative mode, getting bored, closing the game, going outside, living a normal healthy life. But then...

It took Capn about two real human nights to figure out that if he devoured enough rotten flesh and avoided spawn-rats, holes, lava, creepers, seedy homeless people, communistic ideals, sand traps, tnt traps, bed traps, transvestite traps, skeleton traps, roadside ambushes, and the hurtful remarks of fellow players, he could get far enough out to make a name for himself.

Capn currently resides at Segoria, playing as SpenPen. He's honestly kind of a dick now.

Base Affiliations

Very First Base: A Small House On A 20x20 Manmade Island A Few Thousand Blocks To The North

Axis of Allies

none. zero. nobody.

Axis of Evil

America is presently at war. Not just a war on terrorism; but we are engaged in a deadly stand-off with an Axis of Evil. You know who I’m talking about – Iran, Iraq, and one of the Koreas.

But my Axis of Evil doesn’t seem to interest the people out there. Some people just want to talk about the economy, and budgets, and Enron. I bet most of you out there don’t even understand Enron. I sure as heck don’t! It hurts my head to think about it. So, from now on, Enron will be part of my Axis of Evil. I don’t want to hear anything else about Enron, unless our military has pounded it into submission. So, look out, Enron – you’re now part of the Axis of Evil.

So is the Economy. I don’t like the way this economy is acting; not very American, it’s evil! The economy is now a part of my Axis of Evil.

Also, I don’t like Sen. Tom Daschle. You know why? He’s very critical. You know where that leads him? You got it. He’s now part of the Axis of Evil.

And don’t forget France. The French don’t like me saying “Axis of Evil”, so guess what? They’re now a part of the very same Axis of Evil that they don’t like me saying. How do you like them apples, France? Next time, you keep your mouth shut. You mess with Texas, and it’s straight to the Axis of Evil, got it?

Germany, Italy, Japan – they were the original Axis of Evil. Maybe they thought I would forget, but I didn’t. They’re back in!

Here’s one you probably didn’t expect – Dick Cheney. Now, he’s up to something, and I don’t like it! He’s never around. If I’m in the White House, he’s not. If I’m on a plane, nowhere in sight. He’s very sneaky; not to mention, scary. I’m putting him in the Axis of Evil – for now.

Evil Knievel’s going in the Axis of Evil – but that’s a no-brainer. But Dr. Evil? No; he makes me laugh, so he’s out.

So, you see, America? There’s nothing to fear. Everything’s fine. You go out and buy your new cars, fly on airplanes, and invest in K-Mart. Don’t listen to what the economists say. Why? Because they like math, and math is very much a part of the Axid of Evil.